Why The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is Like a Chai Latte
I love fall. Fall means crisp colored leaves, hot chocolate, chai lattes, and wearing my favorite sweater again. I sleep in extra in the morning, and feel a deep envy of bears, who’ve budgeted time for a long winter sleep. The deeper towards winter it gets, the more comfortable I want to be.
That’s why I’m fascinated by my friend Brenton, who is a participant here at Pathways. As the light fades, and the wind begins to nip he senses with growing anticipation that the time for being uncomfortable is coming. In the lineage of Halloween and ghost stories told around the fire in the deepening dark, for Brenton, October means experiencing the best kind of fear. For Brenton, October means scary movies.
Brenton first encountered scary movies on Channel 17’s Dr. Shock. He remembers staying up late glued to the television until the program finished, and then creeping into his bedroom. “After the lights went out, I’d get all scared,” he says with a laugh, “but that didn’t stop me!” The next Dr. Shock would infallibly find Brenton back on the couch, sucked in. He remembers first watching the House on Haunted Hill, Dracula, and Frankenstein on that show.
It’s hard for Brenton to articulate what it is about spooky cinema that draws him in. He compares it to going on a roller coaster, or visiting a haunted house, both things he also loves. There’s something about being scared that feels exciting in a way that appeals to him. He remembers visiting a haunted house with his aunt once as a boy. Brenton had a great time. His aunt, on the other hand, was crying so hard afterwards that they had to hug in the parking lot until she calmed down enough to drive home.
Brenton’s favorite scary movie is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. “They just do a really good job scaring you,” he says. “You never know what’s coming!” He loves that feeling of being surprised, of not expecting the scary moments, and then getting swept up in them. Other titles he recommends are Carrie, Halloween, and Friday the 13th. In fact, after several years of living on the streets, Carrie was the first scary movie Brenton watched when he was first housed in 2009.
This Halloween season, Brenton has been without a TV, and it’s driving him crazy! He recently purchased one, and when I visited him this week he was eagerly waiting for it to be delivered. “I can’t wait to curl up with some popcorn, and watch all the scary movies!” He’s also planning on buying a DVD player so he can watch his favorite films all year round.
While I will never totally understand Brenton’s love of scary movies, towards the end of our conversation, he touched on something that changed the way I think about them. As someone who lived on the streets for several years, and has had a number of other personal challenges, I know there are many moments when Brenton has felt real fear, the kind that you can’t just walk away from. I asked him what the difference was between that kind of fear and watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He replied simply, “Watching scary movies makes me glad I’m not in that predicament.” It reminds him that he’s lucky and safe.
And that’s when I realized- I’ve been getting this scary movie thing all wrong. I thought it was the feeling of fear that Brenton was enjoying. But what’s he’s describing is something else. It’s the feeling of drinking a hot chai latte on a cold fall day. It’s the deep comfort of huddling under the covers knowing that the cold can’t get you. It turns out that Brenton and I love fall for the same reason; it reminds us that we are taken care of and safe, and that we have so much to be grateful for. So this Halloween, as I participate in safe, non-terrifying activities, I will think fondly of Brenton, knowing that he is feeling (mostly) safe, and just the tiniest bit frightened in the most comfortable way imaginable.
About the Author
Rebecca DeWhitt has been working at Pathways to Housing PA since 2013. She loves getting to hear participant and staff stories. On her free time, she enjoys traveling, doing coffee tourism, and spending time with her 7 month old, Theodore, pictured below.
