James' Story - In His Own Words
Below is James' story continued from Part 1 of his story which can be read here. The text below is entirely in James' own words.
James:
So I was, I was using the street drugs, and they were becoming more and more dangerous, more and more potent, as well as they were creating mixtures of all kinds of things, tranquilizers and sedatives. And so I wanted to get on Suboxone, but I was afraid of precipitated withdrawal and just the overall maintenance program. I'd never done one before. My use was in relative terms, very high. Kara decided that she would like to try micro induction, so they started with [a low dose] patch on my back. And then they slowly increased the dosage to where there was enough in my system that precipitated withdrawal was no longer going to be an issue. Then I began taking the [daily] strips without any dangerous side effects or withdrawal symptoms.
Then Kara recommended the shot, and she said, ‘It's a 30-day shot, it's simple. We can do it here in the office. It's a slow release, I think it will help you.’ And she was right. I mean, the injection was easy. An issue I had with the street drugs was the volatility and the unpredictability. So I was always up and down with the withdrawal. Suboxone created a situation where that wasn't an issue. It gave me this baseline of, you know, a legal drug that could keep me from having these real high highs and low lows. And it was effortless. It was it was one shot, and it was done [once] for a month, and then it worked. It worked so well that I was unaware of how well it was working until I stopped. When I stopped, I was just in awe of how much of the load that the Sublocade was carrying. It's a wonderful thing.
It removed the volatility, it removed the unknown aspect of ‘Will what I purchased on the street take care of me for a long enough period until I have more money.’ I worked for my brother also, and there was this, this just perpetual fear that I wasn't going to have enough [drugs] to go to work. Suboxone eliminated those problems because, at a bare minimum, I was functional. I wasn't throwing up. My appetite was okay, and I didn't have this dread in the mornings when I would wake up, which is priceless. Especially with what they call Kensington chemistry. They just, they do whatever they want. They put in all these just really bizarre drugs. Your body suffers. I mean, everything suffers. Your emotional state, you're just incapable of finding baseline, or finding stability. Just having that wall at your back where, okay, this is where I'm starting, and I can move forward from here instead of just waking up [in a] terrible, terrible state.
I actually have no real reason [for stopping Sublocade]. I was using street drugs on top of the Sublocade toward the end, and I simply just stopped taking it. I don't have a real valid reason.
I still use the street drugs, but I stopped injecting in my wound, which is huge, has made a huge difference. I was totally unaware of just how capable your body is to heal, if you let it. I was using a lot, and then I found that it was completely unnecessary. I could get along with a lot less.
[If I restart Sublocade] I can work more regularly because it's my brother. He's very flexible, but when I'm on the Sublocade, I'm much more available, and he can count on me for jobs that will take multiple days without worrying that the sickness will prevent me from working. And my girlfriend and I have begun exploring the trails around Philadelphia. There's a lot of really good ones.
I'm extremely grateful for Pathways. Before pathways found me, I had given up on a lot. I just assumed I would quietly pass away at some point. Sounds morbid, but it's where I was. And then that woman, she doesn't work here anymore, Kara, she would make the effort, and she would find me. I mean, she would spend a lot of time looking for me. And I really appreciate that she did that, because it made a huge impact on my life. You know, just the nature of being homeless, you people treat you less than human. It's just, it's just the nature of things. But eventually you begin to buy into it yourself, and having somewhere that you can call home and somewhere you feel safe and the support you know from the service coordinators and just it gives it back to you, your humanity.
To help support participants like James, donate to Pathways to Housing PA at pathwaystohousingpa.org/donate.
